I am on a journey to find myself again. I truly feel as if I have gotten lost these past 2 years; little by little. The good part is that I am finding myself one step at a time.
Today, after talking to my friend JilliAnne, we went and stuck our feet in the "Moses Fountain" at BYU. Haha. We felt pretty rebellious- It was daring and fun! We giggled alot. When I got home, I wanted to go to the pool. It was sunny [and warm] for the first time in a while...but I hadn't shaved, or showered, I've gained weight, and I didn't have anyone to go with... After about 10 minutes of an internal debate with myself, I said "THE HECK with it! I'M GOING SWIMMING!" And I did. And it was Relaxing and Rejuvenating. I Loved it! Are you proud? I am.
I also decided today that I am going to go to Utah Valley University and apply to their Photography Program; Let me just say that I am SO excited! I haven't felt this happy/excited in 2 years!
AND tonight I discovered a BIG part of who I am. I love Love LOVE to do little things for other people- a card or little note when they need it, a chocolate bar here, an invitation there. Whatever. I Love it. I need to do things like that more often! It brings true joy into my life!
ANYWAY, Life is lookin' up right now. I just have to remember the good parts!
I loved this scripture I read tonight:
And as for the perils which I am called to pass through, they seem but a small thing to me, as the envy and wrath of man have been my common lot all the days of my life; and for what cause it seems mysterious, unless I was ordained from before the foundation of the world for some good end, or bad, as you may choose to call it. Judge ye for yourselves. God knoweth all these things, whether it be good or bad. But nevertheless, deepwater is what I am wont to swim in. It all has become a second nature to me; and I feel, like Paul, to glory in tribulation; for to this day has the God of my fathers delivered me out of them all, and will deliver me from henceforth; for behold, and lo, I shall triumph over all my enemies, for the Lord God hath spoken it.
It reminded me that God knows all, and that all the things I'm going through will help me later- I just need to trust Him, and keep swimming. :] I can do it.
1 year ago